Tuesday, January 5, 2010

Lesson 2: A Super Classy Bitch Wears Vintage

I used the word "vintage" for spatial reasons, but what I really mean is vintage, "upcycled," hand-me-down - whatever. The deal is a Super Classy Bitch wears things that aren't always new. Before you get your polka-dotted Victoria's Secret in a bunch, let me explain why.

We all know that feeling of getting something new from the store and you just can't wait to wear it. That's the highlight of a many a lady's day. While this warm, fuzzy feeling is great, there are some issues regarding new clothing that a Super Classy Bitch needs to take into account, even before buying that hot little g-string. (Come on, you know I'm kidding! ...Kinda.)
+One word: Sweatshops. Hey, Bitch! Read it! Moving on...
+The environment loves a true Super Classy Bitch for tapping into eco-fashion! There are some serious side effects to drinking the new clothing punch. Look here!
+Your favorite new [insert garment of choice here] may be really bad for you! It may be Teflon coated, formaldehyde-dipped, you name it. (I'm sorry, but wearing formaldehyde is no where near classy, ok? Science lab smell = unclassy bitch.) There's a Super Classy Bitch bitchin' about it right here for your reading pleasure.

Now that you are sufficiently horrified, let's talk about why you should wear "vintage"!
+You want a conversation piece? Well, then rock a vintage frock and see what your gal pals will say! Interestingly enough, this website is centered around this very idea.
+Vintage clothing is known to create a more flattering shape. [Think: waistline! Yes, it's what we've been missing all these years!] And a Bitch needs to have a good shape! Am I right? (Of course, I'm right. Why the hell are you reading this?!) Check out this Super Classy collection. Also, because styles keep coming back, vintage is pretty much always in. It's just a matter of choosing what works for your body. We'll talk more about clothing shape and body image later. Yeah, you read what I said. You're not getting away from that just yet.
+Hand-me-downs are usually pretty fun, too. Just think of your older sister or aunt getting excited that you can create new memories with her favorite party dress she handed down to you!
+"Upcycle" is a new term in our world, and when referring to clothing, upcycled means that something has been taken from super ugly to super chic. This type of garment is definitely going to start a conversation! Etsy.com is a wonderful resource to find your own upcycled treasures. This lady knows how to do it up(cycled) style. Or, you know what, you could even do it yourself! *gasp* Figure it out here, bitch. And, as always, Threadbanger.com is my favorite source for this kind of crazy awesomeness. (If you remain unconvinced, check this out for more eco-friendly fashion information.)

Some celebrities who sport the recycled:
+Zooey Deschanel (as pictured above)
+Sienna Miller
+The Olsen Twins
+Sarah Jessica Parker (Of course!)
+Christina Aguilera
+Kelly Rowland (Step aside, Beyoncé!)

I know that anytime I wear something "vintage", people shout out a nice comment... or just stare at me, longingly. Regardless of what they say or don't say, it makes me feel Super Classy to wear something that doesn't compete with kitchenware (Thanks but no thanks, Teflon.), upset Mother Earth (That's my Bitch!), or put my little nephew to work (It would be good for him to learn those skills, but let's give him a few more years. He's only 4!). This may seem like a no brainer for me since I am a clothing designer, but with these simple tips, anyone can be the next Super Classy Bitch turning heads when she walks into a room AND feel good about herself for what she has done for the greater good!

My work is done here for now, but don't forget to tell me about your "vintage" ways in the comments! I showed you mine, so you show me yours! Because that's Super Classy... Bitch. ;-)